WHY...does it feel so disheartening to have to spend money on garbage bags and paper towels?
WHY...are airplane dinners and drinks designed for tiny people with no taste buds?
WHY...do little Asian elders ride their bicycles slowly on the sidewalk in the most inconvenient direction?
WHY...can't we vacation in IKEA and eat Swedish meatballs daily in a different modern dinette set?
WHY...does vomiting horribly make you feel so beautifully at peace?
WHY...is the Buddha so fat if he preached Enlightenment through Spiritual Emptiness? Does Nirvana come with an all-you-can-eat-sushi bar?
WHY...can headless mannequins look good in everything? Is it because I have a face that I look frumpy?
WHY...do I get carded whenever I don't have my ID? Are Bouncers like babies in that they can smell fear, insecurity and irresponsibility?
WHY...do people make stupid, annoying decisions when they are in big, happy groups?
WHY...does an arts degree cost thousands, yet it provides me with a dollar store future?
WHY...does it feel like little gay guys are everywhere? Or does it just take more energy to process their high-pitched vernacular?
WHY...does Home Depot smell so f*cking good?!
WHY...do are boys' skates so much more comfortable than "cripplingly-bone-damaging" girls' skates? (we have that-time-of-the-month, human creatures growing inside us, unwanted hair growth, and confusing product labels...so you just had to take away skating!)
WHY...is Shark Week still the best television idea ever? (I means it's sharks. swimming. for a whole week. genius.)
WHY...can Tequila and strawberry bubbly solve all my life's problems and create even more complicated ones in just one night of mayhem...and amnesia?
WHY...is lying in my bed better than any other place imaginable, but I only realize that when I'm in a faraway place imagining?
WHY...did I see the first "Harry Potter" twelve times in the theatres? Did my parents get divorced when I was kid or something?! (yes)
WHY...can I watch FRIENDS re-runs gleefully for hours...yet GLEE makes me want to drown puppies?
WHY...do sneezes get stuck in our noses?
WHY...did the Grinch's little grinchy heart grow three sizes that day...yet my bleeding hearts garden shriveled?
WHY...is it always that the girl who you've secretly liked forever seem to not like you...but then when you find out from a friend that she actually does like you, she becomes sugar/s[ice for a little bit but then acts like she doesn't like you anymore so that you are not sure if she likes you still, or if she ever liked you in the first place, and maybe the friend that told you was just being a drama queen and maybe the friend said that cuz they don't really like you or they really, really just like gossip and to get you confused and by the time you realize the truth, the sunshine and daisies that come with being with the girl you like are gone and nothing happens and everyone is miserable, lonely, and pretending not to be thinking about it. yeah.
WHY...does there need to be gloom, storms and the right mathematical angles to get a rainbow?
WHY...do songs that suck get stuck in your head faster than good songs?
WHY...is it socially frowned upon to throw tantrums in public, yet we all want to and it would probably be fun, and therefore acceptable?
WHY...did low-carb diets ever get invented if the smell of baking bread is a universal endorphin? ultimate body-mind conflict?!
WHY...do the other girls in my lectures where Birkenstocks, eat cut up veggies in Zip Lock bags and talk about the significance of stuff even when class is over? is there something wrong with me? (yes...but i'm going to wonder anyway)
WHY...do I have to pee whenever I'm in a sketchy bathroom zone?
WHY...am I sore like I've been at the gym when all I do is sit around and procrastinate?
WHY...do they still include black Jube Jubes with the colourful ones when people who enjoy the fruity colours leave the black ones until the end and then are sad when they still have candy left but realize it's just the black ones. and people who like the black ones can just go and by licorice?
WHY...are addictions so healthily freeing?
WHY...doesn't Ariel want live under the sea, even after hearing the song? B*tch.
WHY...why why why why why?!