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don't ask me how my day was. puhlease. i am a oversized teenager of technology, so i don't feel like talking right now. text me later. or better yet, refer to my most-frequently-used emoticons of the day. here is a screen shot of a recent real-life conversation:


water droplets: i recently poured two big glasses of water over this guy, while he was sleeping. i was angry #justification. naturally i texted all my bffs with the play-by-play of the night.

soccer ball: south american world cup soccer is on. this cute gurl i like is peruvian. goal! (actually chile won)

little happy boy: the boy i dumped water on.

little happy girl: me.

eggplant: ohhhhh inside joke.

excited blushing: there's been lots of exciting drama lately. oh! oh!

cheers: and lots of nights out...but i can't really remember too well...

distressed tears: does he like me? does she like me? was i invited? can i come? life is so unfair!

pointy finger: i like to pretend i give good advice and feel more authoritative if i hold my finger up when i text it.

skull: a) DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM b) resembles a eccentric ex-co-worker who we constantly refer to.

sulking: i missed out on lots of sitting-around-chatting-time because i had classes all day. awwwww.

bashful: i'm pretending to be modest but i know the comments i'm taking are actually really witty and i'm so pretty. you love me right...right?!

pretty lady: my bff.

zzZ: i'm so fucking hungover.

princess: expresses my current opinion that boyz act like stupid entitled girly-girlies.

wedding cake: it's almost my birthday!!!

running: i'm-late-i'm-late-for-a-very-imporant-date-no-time-to-say-hello-goodbye-i'm-late!!!

arm: i dislike gurlz with saggy upper arms. just because i'm gay does't mean i'll settle for any gurl. no arm pudge!

snow cone: let's go back to that create-your-own-low-fat frozen yogurt place! yumz. I KNOW RIGHT?!

apple: left boob (aka BOB)

orange: right boob (aka TOM)

now you never need ask how my day was. so tonight i'm gonna:


if you are my parents then i'm actually